Talking to Babies the Respectful way- Lessons from my journey as a New Mom
Assalamualaikum dear parents,
I am now a mom to an almost 3-month-old baby,
Alhamdulillah.
Even though this is my third time stepping into motherhood, it feels like a brand-new journey all over again.
My respectful parenting journey began six years ago with my firstborn.
Taking the TPEP course with Maryam Munir completely transformed the way I viewed children.
It shifted how I parented, how I saw myself, and even how I related to people around me.
Now, with a newborn in my arms again, I feel like I’m starting fresh- relearning how to be the mother I aspire to be.
As my mentor suggested, I picked up Your Self-Confident Baby by Magda Gerber, and SubhanAllah, it’s been life-changing.
Why Respect Starts in Infancy
The RIE (Resources for Infant Educarers) approach, introduced by Magda Gerber, teaches us that babies are capable, aware individuals from birth.
They are not just tiny humans to be “handled” or entertained; they are participants in their own development.
The way we talk to them builds the foundation for their self-confidence, emotional security, and trust in the world.
How to Talk to Babies the Respectful Way
Here are my key learnings that I’ve started practicing with my little one. Whether you’re a mom, caregiver, or simply someone who spends time around babies, this will change how you see them.
1. Talk TO Them, Not AT Them
Before touching or picking them up, tell them what you’re going to do.
Give them a moment to process. “I am going to pick you up now.”
2. Narrate Caregiving Moments
Routine care is bonding time.
Describe what you’re doing so they feel included.
“I’m putting on your clean diaper now. Your legs are helping me, Thank You.”
3. Use Real Words, Not Baby Talk
Affection is beautiful, but babies learn language through real words.
“You’re holding the rattle and shaking it.”
4. Acknowledge Feelings
Crying is communication, not manipulation.
“You didn’t like that. You’re upset, and I’m here with you.”
5. Respect Their Play and Give Time to Respond
Pause after speaking; wait for their eye contact, coos, or movement.
If they are deeply focused, observe quietly without interrupting.
Why This Matters
These small shifts teach babies from day one that:
Their feelings are valid.
Their body and space are respected.
They are capable and valued.
A respected baby grows into a respected, self-confident child.
Your Turn -Let’s Talk!
I would love to hear from you:
Do you already talk to your baby this way?
Which of these tips will you start practicing today?
Reply to this newsletter or leave a comment
I would love to know how you’re connecting with your little one.
Share the Love
If you know a mom, dad, or caregiver who would benefit from this, forward this newsletter to them.
Let’s raise confident, emotionally secure children together.
Fatimah
(Mom of 3, Respectful Parenting Advocate, Trauma informed Parent Coach
6 Comments
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Salma R Varaiya
Respect their play and give time to respond..
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Taskeen Sareshwala
I did talk to babies what happened? Stomach is hurting? Don’t like this oh? etc . But not mindfully being aware that this respect and validating feelings is so important and I am doing that to raise emotionally capable child. Thanks for sharing this learnings of yours with others.
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Mubassira Kadiwala
This post really opened my eyes. I learned that babies—even as young as mine—deserve the same respect we expect for ourselves. Talking to them, not at them, using real words, and acknowledging their feelings are such powerful shifts. I now understand how important it is to slow down, explain things, and truly connect. This respectful approach teaches them that their voice, space, and emotions matter. Thank you for this gentle reminder—it’s changed the way I see parenting. 🌼
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Aisha Ayub Dholiya
Walaikumassalam.
Fatima didi.
N mubarak apko baby k liye😍
All tips are very helpful.
As a mother I will try this tips n it will be helpful to me. In sha Allah. -
Nahid Sareshwala
Walaykumassalam
Mashallah, Fatima aapke parenting tips bahot achhe hai. Parenting ahem Zimmedari hai..jub ye samajh kar hum bachho ki parwarish karte hai, to wo farq nazar aata hi hai.
Bahot zaroori hai ki hum unse attentively and respective manners m baate kare. Umse bonding, mahobbat aur izzat pana chahte hai to zaroori hai k aap unhe respect se pukare……har parents ko ye sari tips zaroor apnani chahiye..chahe wo bahot chhote ho ya bade ho gaye ho, qk wo aapko full.time observe karte hai.
Jazakillah khair for sharing.
Umm Maryam
Thank you so much for sharing this—truly appreciated. I only wish I had come across the fourth point earlier. Alhamdulillah, I was able to apply the first three with my eldest, who is now 16.